It wasn't me, honest!!

Long time since I wrote anything bloggish. I blame the banana. I've bought some for Dis' breakfast, but, not tried to eat one. The last one I tried to eat put me in l'hopital for three weeks. Bloody thing! I'd just had a paracetamol for a pain in my eye, spotted the banana and thought I'd have a quick snack. Peeled it, popped a piece mouthwards, but the banana had other ideas, jumped out of my mouth down to the floor, and refused to be picked up. Bloody thing! It caused mutinous behaviour in my mouth, and also in my arm and hand. The Bloody thing! It wasn't me, honest! It was the banana, Bloody thing! French hopital food is truly awful, and awful is an understatement. Inedible, unless French, they slurped it down with beaucoup de bruit, piggy sort of bruit. Fortunately ( fanfare of trumpets ), I was saved from starvation, by the angel Diane, who flew in every day with a flask of tea and some biscuits. A complete ballache driving to Limoges every day, but the girl done good. I will be eternally full of grate for being full of tea and biscuits. The medical care was as good as could be. I was consulted informed and advised, carefully examined, and then cut open cleaned out and sewn back together. The aftershock I was warned could happen, did, but again, they sorted me out. No complaints. Well done the French health service for saving me from the evil machinations of that banana. BLOODY THING !!!!