bloody bindweed!

It deserves a swear word, I apologise not. I know it has a very pretty flower, but, it's just a front to hide it's true nature, which is murderous, and, deviously insidious. It cannot stand tall and proud, as other plants, it has to use such plants to spiral upward, and, in doing so, strangles them. While it's busy strangling the garden to death, it's also sending out, fat white runners under the soil, to colonise new areas. Each part of these unhealthy looking extensions is capable of producing a new plant. So I dig it up, leave a tiny portion of root, and, up it comes. It is an abomination before THE LORD JIM, and I curse it a thousandfold!!!

voila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The boy be back, and I can start to relax a bit. Afghanistan is not the place I want him to be. I don't think I'm particularly worried about him, until, he's back with his lady wife, Sara, and then I realize there has been an underlying tension, niggling away at the back of my head. He's 43 now, and a lot tougher than me, in some ways, but, he's my son, and I'm the guy who knows how fragile he is, under all the army speak. Anyway he's back, safely, so I will cease with the maudling sentimentality, and proceed to other rubbish. I used to be a small engine mechanic, no qualifications, just did it for years. We have a motobineuse( rotavator) for chopping up the veggie garden, a very handy machine, BUT, I got it out yair, and it wouldn't start, I hate lugging at pull starts more than six times, after sixty there is a grave danger of the lump hammer being employed. I know it's not normal to use a lump hammer to start machines, but, it's handy for beating them to death. Today, of course, started first pull, it pluied all night, and again this morning, yair, it was just about dry enough. All I can say is, I think the threat of Mr Marteau, and a night to think about it, done the trick. Told you I was a mechanic, we know all the tricks.

Jus Tinkin

For peeps as as a camera, it's amazing, how many piccys you can take in a lifetime. I've an old praktica slr, which takes brill photos, but like me, it's now getting passed it's sell-by date. Move over darling, digital is here. I can't disapprove of the new digital camera, it is a great invention. Yet i mourn the passing of, setting the aperture, the timing, the focus, all the pissing about, but, also, the really great pictures at the end of it all. not always, I hasten to say, some piccys I took were awful, but, some, were beautiful!! I took a shot of our daughter, on the beach at Caloundra Queensland, when we were on holiday, she was, 12/13 yrs old, just reaching the change from girl to young woman. She was lying, turned toward me, on the sand, on the beach in the sunshine, big grin, and I suddenly saw her for the woman she would be. Snap! Gottcha! A beautiful picture. We had a papoose for James, the youngest, and he spent almost all the time with me, looking backwards. He had an orange floppy hat, Queensland sun is a killer, and my wife took a sequence of piccys, with just the hat in view, then his little face. He was only tiny, and he got a very hit and miss view of life as we walked along. Perhaps that's why he has a degree in computer science, and I'm an hgv driver. I'm just too practical. I think the required element to understanding computers is to have, a not quite centred view on life. It's just jealousy, I wish i was better at it, but what little brain I have, don't work like that. In this day and age, it could be deemed a terminal illness. Perhaps it is? Snow BUGGER OFF!!!!! IT'S NOT FUNNY!!! I hate laughing snow! No I'm NOT paranoid, but I will be, if the snow continues to hang around.

From the sublime to...........the more sublime!

We've two young horses, one three year old, and, Bonbon, who is a two year old. Very different animals!! Remy, the three year old, was born in the UK, and came with us as a foal, with Anky, his mum. Bonbon was born here, her mum Mel, has been retired to the yard in England. Yesterday was trailer training, we've been leading them up to the trailer, letting them sniff it, and have a look, but yesterday was the day we attempted to get them in it. Time and patience, the essential ingredients. Bonbon had a good think about it, but, said, not sure, so, I walked Corky through it a couple of times, then Di set off to follow us, and, the little love walked along behind, up the tail ramp, through the trailer, and down the front ramp, and, Bonbon walked with her, she's a little love too. Remy was a harder nut to crack. He walked up to the trailer, but couldn't work out how to get his feet on the ramp, we waited, and waited, but he just kept knocking his pasterns on the front edge, just didn't lift his feet high enough. I lifted one foot on then the second, and he stood for ages, not sure what to do, Di encouraged him all the time, and he decided to follow her, but couldn't work out where to put his feet, he looked like he'd had one training session with the Hitler youth in slow march, and hadn't got it right, but, the boy done good, and he followed Di through. That was sublime. Us babies are doing trailers. I take the dogs down the field fore an evening walk some nights, depends how boisterous they are. Last evening we were down the field, and, a beautiful, red deer stag, walked out of our stream. The dogs didn't see him at first so, I called them to me, and we watched him walk up the fence, and then jump into our neighbours field. I thought they might set off after him, but, they watched him hop off, then caried on playing. I'd heard him roaring in the rut, but it's the first one I've seen in France. Just hope the weekend murderers don't get him. That was the other sublime. Two sublimes in one day. We is lucky peoples!!!!!!!

Bits and pieces

For some reason, I suddenly had memory of a lecture I had at agricultural college. The girl who delivered the lecture, was useless as a teacher, just read out notes , which we had to copy. Years later, before I burned all my old notes, I looked at microbiology, and I still couldn't read it. She was fit, to look at, but not to teach. One of her favourite phrases was, pasturised and sterilised, it was microbiology after all, and I remember being really pissed off trying to write at the speed of light, and as she said, pasturised and sterilised, I started singing, and little lambs eat ivy, a kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you. Stunned silence, before everybody laughed, except Misfit, not a spelling mistake. I was also thinking, again for no reason, of a company I worked for, driving an old Bedford 10 ton van, no power steering. A Scottish company, tight as monsieur C Anards' anal sphincter, which set me wondering why it was referred to as; Monsieur canards' anal sphincter particularly. I've been swimming many times, and I can't in all honesty say, I have ever had water enter my body, via my anal sphincter. I drove said van for about three months, before they retired it, and I had arms and shoulders that Popeye would have swooned over. I admit to swooning over them myself, once or twice. Has Printemps arrived? I'd like to kid myself it had, but, I think L'hiver has a trick or two lurking.......!

Green field, Brown field

In just a few hours, that's what happened. The view from the patio, of a beautiful green field, became the view of a dirty brown one. Fumier the culprit, and though it doesn't look real purty jest now, like most things given time, it'll change. If it doesn't go back to green in a couple of weeks. Houston, we have a problem!! Yet nay I say, Nay! 'Twill be a carpet of emerald in a fortnight, or, if not a fortnight, then, two weeks, max. I said, after enduring five years of drought in Australia. "I'll never complain about too much rain, ever again in my life"So, I either, need to die, or, it bloody well stop raining, for that oath to remain unbroked. I noticed some goosey looseys flying North a couple of days ago. It must be the length of days decides them, as, the weather is hardly Springlike. Horses tootsies attended to, bale of straw arrived, more wood for fire ordered, new exhaust for Toyota expected Lundi, and the notaire has been visited. Bills paid, and minds set at rest, horses look very well( it is midwinter), garden looks fed up. It has our sympathy. All, apart from a minor aberration here and there, is ticketty boo

Les Taupes

No it's not going to be a ramble about someone called Les. Di has been stomping round the lawn, swearing, and kicking hell out of the molehills. She occasionally growls. Di don't like Les Taupe. Sooooo! I've been looking for a solution to the problem. Dog poo does keep them away for a while, but, they're determined little buggers. I've got rather a soft spot for moles. It's all down to the Wind in the willows, which I read at age 9/10. I was an innocent little chap, and I'm afraid Mr molecreated certain sentiments in my immature soft centre, which have stuck. But a stamping Di is a terror to behold, preferably not a lot, and I determined to subdue the sentiment, and sort the buggers out. There is a cunning device which fires a plunger into the run, not necessarily killing old moldywarp, but holding him until he dies(lack of worms). A really hideous system requires, catching worms, cutting off the two points, front and back, coating said worms in a poison powder, and inserting these delicacies into the run. Worms can't run away, along comes Les and, shortly after complains of bellyache, and pops his clogs. I couldn't torture worms like that. I wrote a doggerel verse about worms one day; Wormy crawly longy tube, him eaty tubey make, Wormy hermy aphrodite, So sexy piecey cake. Someone like me can envy a worm. I ended up buying some small cartridges, which when releasd down the hole, give off a gas, which will send Les into a peaceful, deep, and permanent sleep. OH YES IT WILL!!!!!!

Nose even less

Yes 'tis possible, to go faire les courses, and come back with only half the required elements. I keep saying," It doesn't matter, but it bloody well does. I know I get on Dis' nerves, but, now I'm getting on MY nerves. The future doesn't look bright, possibly even dismal, as low as bleak, or black. Can there be anything lower, other than; HELLISH!!!!!! Giving meself the shivers here, herein lies madness. I must lift this cloud of gloom, get thee hence despondency. I will not yield to thee. Fly clouds, begone; let the sun shine down upon this feeble fool, perchance to brighten his day. I'm really pleased with Remy and Bonbon. We led them up to the ramp of  the trailer, to let them suss it out, and they were little stars, a bit wary, but no histrionics, I thought Remy was going to go up the ramp, but he couldn't work out where his foots had to go. He will. Corky, who was supposed to be,"Watch auntie Corky children, this is how we do it", had a semi blonde moment, but the children weren't fazed by it at all. They're a bit special. OH YES THEY ARE !!!!!!!!!!